Look at that egg, so ugly!
Hey! I am a kiwi!
Yeah, it's all hairy!
Be yourself
Because everyone else is already taken

Don't stay up late just because you're ugly.

You are 38 years old, from a humble family.
You endured hardships to get into a 985 university.
After many twists and turns, you stayed in the big city.

Is it because you missed me so much
that your hair turned white overnight...
No, it's all bird droppings.

You and I had no fate
all because I spent money

Every year on this day, someone always holds a bouquet of flowers and says behind me, 'Excuse me, be careful not to bump into it.'

If single men are single dogs,
then single women should be dog-ignored.

If you are lonely on Valentine's night, watch a horror movie. After a while, you'll feel that the bathroom, kitchen, under the bed, and ceiling are all full of people. It's really lively.

Meeting the wrong person makes you look forward to Valentine's Day every day.

You work at a big company
Haven't moved positions in 8 years
Your department head is 6 years younger than you
All day long he's a smiling tiger

The new post-90s colleague
Harvard graduate
Diligent and sweet-talking, also proficient in online marketing
Salary only one level lower than yours

Tired of the familiar business
But the work resume is mediocre
It's hard to get a raise by changing jobs, maybe even lower
Starting a business after quitting is even more unthinkable
How many people have died on the beach

Transfer from subway to bus
Bought a second-hand 80-square-meter apartment outside the Fourth Ring Road
Stuck in traffic for at least two hours every day
Monthly mortgage of 12,000 yuan, 15 years remaining
Son's tutoring fees over 20,000 yuan per semester

When I got home, my wife said,
"The popular Korean hair dryer is only 2,800 yuan. Do you want to buy it?"
You hesitated for a moment and didn't answer.

Last time when my mother-in-law came, she insisted that WiFi radiation is bad for children, so the WiFi was removed, and we can only use wired internet.

The receding hairline can still be covered by bangs, but the increasingly obvious eye bags and belly can never be hidden.

The running sportswear I bought last year
I gave up after less than five times
So when I went home for the New Year
I gave the sportswear to my parents

Haven't been intimate with my wife for a long time, because our son wants to sleep with his mom. Actually, we have long lost interest in each other.

The female classmate you met at the last reunion
sent a WeChat message inviting you for a drink
She seems interested in you
but she's a bit ugly
You want to go but are afraid of getting emotionally involved and not being able to extricate yourself
Finally, you replied
'I have a meeting tomorrow, let's have coffee next time'

Delete
After replying to WeChat, you casually tapped delete
Last time you forgot to delete and your wife saw it
Caused a week of trouble